When it comes to making decisions and taking action in our lives we often try to unpack those decisions by asking ourselves a series of “what if” questions… "What if I don’t like the job? What if I move and regret it? What if I lose money? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I fail?"
Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with asking “what if” questions. The problem lies in how we ask the “what if” questions. Are we asking these questions with a fearful mindset? Or with a curious and positive mindset? Each mindset sends us down a completely different path.
Fearful mindest:
What if I don’t like my new job and regret leaving my old company?
Curious mindset:
What if I really enjoy my new job and wish I’d done this sooner?
The direction of our mindset changes everything.
Nowadays, there are so many “what ifs” floating around in our heads it’s scary. Sometimes we focus so much on the negative what ifs, we forget the positive what ifs even exist. “What if they love me? What if I break the record? What if I make them smile? What if I succeed? What if this is exactly what I needed?”
Let’s breakdown this down, shall we...
Negative “what if” thinking is a response mechanism to our fears and self-doubt. When we are scared or uncertain we tend to err on the side of caution and this creates resistance. Overtime, the resistance turns into hundreds of small excuses that keep us from doing the thing(s) we really want to do. These small excuses keep us from listening to the little voice in our head thats been nagging us for years. They keep us from starting that blog, going back to school, making the move, or changing something we don’t like about our lives. The fearful mindset holds us hostage in a dark room full of self-doubt and uncertainty.
When we ask our "what if" questions with a curious mindset, all of the sudden the dark room becomes brighter and less scary. “What if it’s the best move for my family? What if I launch my blog and it inspires people? What if I go back to school and love my new direction? What if I break the record?” Instead of only seeing the negatives, we begin to shed light on the positive things that could come from making our decisions.
The cool thing about overcoming our fears and pushing away the self-doubt is that we start to gain momentum in a snowball affect. Once we conquer one fearful decision, the next tough decision becomes slightly less scary and easier to overcome. Once you write your first blog post, writing the second one becomes easier. Once you decide to go back to school, the act of signing up for that first class is a little less scary. When we ask ourselves, “what ifs,” in a positive manner, they start to become a source of inspiration, instead of a source of resistance.
Next time you find yourself in a fearful mindset asking "what if" questions, take a moment to acknowledge the fear, realize it is there, and then push it aside. Re-ask your “what if” questions with a curious and positive mindset and you will start to see all the amazing opportunities out there, just waiting for you to give them a chance.